Hoohas and what's its galore

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

It's been a while since checking in, so here's an abbreviated update on mi vida.

Marne's Funeral

The funeral was a simple grave-side service led by a Catholic priest who's a friend of Marne's son. I've never been to a grave-side service before.

It was extremely cool/surreal to be in the presence of all of Marne's great-grandkids running around. Marne's granddaughter, Jackie, gave a gratitude eulogy in which she thanked Army and me for being good friends. I was NOT expecting that.

Mingling with Marne's family after the service was less awkward than I expected it to be. These people actually felt like family. I hope we see them all again. (Jackie ordered this amazing fruit bouquet that was set up like a bouquet of flowers. Pineapple and canteloupe were shaped into daisies.)

This past Sunday Army and I set up a really informal time to remember Marne after church. I was ubber sick on Saturday (the day we were gonna do the baking for the memorial), so Army competently made ALL the goodies.

He used Marne's award-winning cheese cake recipe and her lemon pie recipe. He also made the brownies I was gonna make. Everything turned out well.

A lot of people shared little bits about Marne, and it felt really special and intimate.

Everyday I still wake up thinking about how many days it will be until we visit Marne. It's strange but not too sad.

My Heart

Over the past month or so I've been getting really sharp, stabbing pains over the area of my heart. My doctor wanted to do an EKG just to make sure it wasn't something serious.

So, I had my 2nd EKG in a lifetime, and it came back normal. Now, just in order to cover all the proverbial bases, I have to wear a "Halter Monitor" for 24 hours and press a button when I feel pain.

Both my doctor and I think it's probably just a new manifestation of my anxiety. (I've been cutting back on one of my anti-anxiety medications, because it raises my pulse so much.) My doc also put me on another drug to lower my diastolic.

Pulitzer Project

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I finished Interpreter of Maladies, and I loved it. I've been trying to get through March without much interest. This sux because it's an amazingly well written book, so I plan to come back to it at a different time.

When I was in Minneapolis last time, Pat and I went to Magers & Quinn book store, and I bought Empire Falls (because I love it so) and The Good Earth. (I've always been curious about this last one, because I worked at the Good Earth restaurant and always wondered if it had anything to do with the book. I doubt this though cuz The Good Earth appears to be about China.)

Currently, I'm re-reading Empire.

Stu, My Mom's Fiance

When Stu was in town for my mom's birthday (also when I was in town last), his forehead down to his eyelids went completely numb. As this was kind of alarming, and his sister has M.S., he went to the doctor asap.

It turns out that Stu has what his doctor referred to as the "least severe" form of M.S. This was sad to learn on many levels. The most poignent level of grief for me was recognizing that Stu, my mom's significant other, will have MANY, many of the same (potentially devestating) symptoms that my dad suffered from.

My mom will most likely be Stu's main caregiver in the future- should he need it. It's just so strange. I mean, is she drawn to care for men with similar needs and similar nerve problems? Or, is this just one of life's funny little coincidences?

(Also, it just hit me that Stu was diagnosed with M.S. almost exactly two years to the day that my dad died from complications of a similar disease.)

He'll need a lot of support from his kids, and he hasn't told them yet. So, please pray for and think of him.

Disgustingness

I was consumed with feeling vomitous almost the entire day Saturday. I STILL deeply with all my body HATE the act of throwing up...mostly the minutes before (when drenched in sweat, shaking, nauseated, anxious).

But, I got through a very intense fear of mine. (I'm definitely getting past my emitephobia!)

Army was right there rubbing my back and getting me cold cloths, etc. This was the first time in our relationship that he's been able to be physically present during this terrifying time for me. I felt so loved.

Puking with Army (*quirky smile*) was definitely a bonding experience.

Spiritual Place

I've been able to ask God more for what I need when I need it. Recently I've learned to rely on him specifically for the energy I'll need to do things and for extra energy to help others.

All of this started when I was working with a past cook named Pam who was recovering from breast cancer. She needed help with little things like lifiting the garbage and bringing it down to the bins.

I'd ask for extra energy to help her since I generally feel like I don't even have enough energy to do my basic job, but I knew she really needed extra help. I also knew no one else would help her, because she could be sharp and abbrasive with most people. I really liked her though.

So lately I've seen this same blessing happening in more areas of my life. I prayed on Sunday that if God wanted me to go to work on Monday that I'd know it and feel capable, or if it could work out - to have Monday off.

I was told they didn't need me on Monday. The same thing happened today, so I've had a total of 2 days to fully heal up.

Nice!!

New

I got my new glasses today and am wearing them as I type. I like them!! They're a bit more trendy than I'd like, but the colors are great, and they look good on my face. Hoot! (I can't find a pic of them online, but I'll try to post a pic of me in them soon.)

La la la....that's all. (Can you even believe this is the ABBREVIATED version??) :)

Love to ya all.

The Basics of Ran

Hoohas and what's its galore